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[绿意盎然] 【娇妻如水】第一章

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感觉心理描写太多了,有时候过于喧宾夺主,应该在写的时候多写一些对话,发出的声音之类的东西,这女的表现的感觉也有一点奇怪,另外,还可以多描写一些动作或者姿势之类的描述,反正总而言之,感觉代入感有点少,也许只是作者给一开始的铺垫吧,期待后面的发展
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  • soyoui 金币 +6 认真回复,奖励! 2023-2-17 00:19

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